How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
His lips are moving.
Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
Not enough sand.
Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
Take your foot off his head.
Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?
No? Good!
What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit?
The bucket.
What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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