Short Crazy Corny Jokes! - Part 2

Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!" *Nobody stands up* Teacher: "Im sure there are some stupid students over here!!" *Little Johnny stands up* Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny you think you're stupid?" Little Johnny: "No... i just feel bad that you're standing alone..."

Cop: "Did you kill this man?" Me: "No, a bullet killed him. Bullets are made of lead, which comes from the ground. The ground is part of nature. He died of natural causes. Case closed."

Something To Do When You're Bored: 1. Catch a fly. 2. Put it in the freezer. 3. Wait 10 minutes. 4. Take out the fly, it will be unconcious, not dead. 5. Pull out a strand of hair or a thin piece of string. 6. Tie it around the fly. 7. Wait till it wakes up. BAM! Your very own pet fly

Boy: ( calls 911 ) hello 911 i need your help! 911: alright what is it? Boy: 2 girls are fighting over me! 911: -.- so whats the problem about that? Boy: the ugly one is winning.

*Hott Girl's Facebook Status* "Bored" -86 Likes -54 Comments *My status* "Just got accepted into Harvard!" -0 Likes -1 Comment from Mom:"...Nerd"

Dad: Why are your eyes so red? Son: I was smoking marijuana Dad: Don't lie to me, you were crying because you're a faggot...

When people go underwater in scary movies, I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived that situation. I almost died in Finding Nemo.

Redneck Home Security..

How to install a redneck home security system:

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with several empty beer cans, a copy of Guns & Ammo magazine and several NRA magazines.

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads: 'Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim, I went to the gun shop for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls -- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad.I don't think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. PS - I locked all four of 'em in the house. Better wait outside.'

5. INSTALLATION COMPLETE!