Free Drinks If You Can Make That Horse Laugh?!

One day a guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "if you can make that horse over there laugh you can have free drinks for the rest of the night".

So he says "ok" and walks over to the horse and whispers something in his ear and he starts laughing and the bartender gives him free drinks for the rest of the night.

The next night the same guy comes back in and the bartender says "if you can make that horse over there cry i will give you free drinks for the rest of the night.

So he walks over there and does something and the horse starts crying, and the bartender gives him free drinks. Then the bartender asks what the man did to make the horse laugh and what he did to make him cry.

The man says "To make him laugh I told him I had a bigger dick than he does and to make him cry I showed him".

Corny Jokes... :D

What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup?
Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup!


A magician was driving down the road..then he turned into a drive way...

Why don't aliens eat clowns.
Because they taste funny.

What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh

Two snowmen are standing in a field. One says to the other : "Funny, I smell carrots too".

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
el-if-i-no

Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One was a salted.

Three Horses:

A man asked an Old Indian what was his wife's name.

He replied, "She called three horse"

The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife.

What does it mean?"

The Old Indian answered "It old Indian Name. It mean, NAG, NAG, NAG!"

Fishing Trip..

I finally got around to going fishing this morning but after a while I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth, and frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bitten.

I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.

His eyes rolled back, he went limp, I released him into the lake without incident, and carried on my fishing with the frog.

A little later I felt a nudge on my foot.

There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth.

Kick it and you don't get it!! Naughty farm boy.

Little naughty farm boy goes around the farmyard kicking all the animals. As he sits down for breakfast his mom gives him dry cereal. "I saw you kicked the chicken, the pig and the cow, so for a week, there will be no bacon eggs or milk for you. Just then his dad stumbles over the cat in the passage and kicks it across the hallway. The boy grins at his mom and says "Are you gonna tell him, or should I?"

Just Calm The F*** Down!!

Epileptic Goldfish..

Man goes to the vet with his goldfish.
"I think it's got epilepsy."

The vet takes a look and says:
"It seems calm to me."

The man says:
"Idiot, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet!"

Animals and Drugs..

A rabbit was hopping through the forest when he came upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit said, “Giraffe, don’t do drugs, Come, run with me through the forest. “The giraffe looked at the rabbit, then at the joint. He dropped the joint and ran off with the rabbit. They came upon an elephant snorting cocaine. The rabbit said: "Elephant don't do drugs. Come, run with us through the forest. "The elephant looked at his razor blade and mirror, tossed them away and began running with the rabbit and giraffe. They came across a lion about to shoot up. The rabbit said the same. The lion put down the needle and started to beat the living daylights out of the rabbit. Horrified, the giraffe and elephant asked, "Lion, why are you doing this? He was only trying to help you. The lion answered, “This little fucker? He makes me run around the forest like a fucking idiot every time he's on ecstasy...