CORNY to the MAX!

- Doc, I think I need to wear glasses - Indeed you have to, you are in a bank.

That Time Of The Month.... ;)

A study in Scotland showed that the kind of "male face" a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where a woman is in her menstrual cycle. For instance, if she is post-menstrual she may be attracted to plain facial features. When pre-menstrual she can be attracted to more feminine features in a man. If she is ovulating she is attracted to men with rugged, masculine features, and if she is menstruating she is more prone to be attracted to a man with a pair of scissors shoved in his temple.

Imagine Screwing a Neanderthal... Yeap...

According to archaeologists, for millions of years Neanderthal man was not fully erect. That's pretty easy to understand considering how ugly Neanderthal woman were.

A Bitter/Sweet Request...

There were three guys that won a contest. They would get to spend a year in a room with anything they chose. The first guy loves to have sex. So they put him in a room for a year with over 200 girls to have sex with for a year. The second guy loved to get drunk. So they put him in a room with every beer there ever was to drink for a year. The third guy loved to smoke. So they put him in a room with every kind of cigarette there was to smoke. Two hours later they hear the guy that loved to smoke banging on the door but they say fuck him, he's in there for a year. A year later they let them out. They first guy came out and he could barely walk, after how many times he had sex. The second guy came out and couldn't walk because he was so drunk. The third guy came out crying. They asked him why he was banging on the door and why he was crying. He said, " I forgot my lighter!"

Lawyer Jokes!

How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

His lips are moving.



Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.



What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.



Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.



Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

No? Good!



What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of shit?

The bucket.



What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.

Short Crazy Corny Jokes!

A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

Yo Momma So Fat The Only Letters She Knows In The Alphabet Are K.F.C

Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.

Failed my biology test today, when they asked, "What is commonly found in cells?"
Apparently "black people" wasn't the correct answer.

What did the blonde say when she found out that she was pregnant?
I hope it's not mine.

Baby, baby, baby ooh!
Mom: *walks in* Are you listening to Justin Bieber?
Daughter: No, I'm watching porn.
Mom: Oh, thank goodness.

I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him.
That's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle.

What do you call 32 hillbillies standing in line?
A full set of teeth!

My girlfriend came out of the shower and said, "I shaved my pussy you know what that means?"
I said, "Yeah the fucking drain is clogged again."

Son: Dad do you remember your first blowjob?
Dad: Ohhh yeah I do!
Son: How did it taste?
Dad: Get out.

For More Visit:                                                                           Get a sneak peak at the Craziest New OS
Short Crazy Corny Jokes Part 2                                                  only to be availible in 2015!
Short Hilarious Jokes For Twitter and Facebook                         MAARXX Aspire
Chuck Norris... Say No More!!
Top 10 Dirty Jokes
Yo Mamma...